A dish of almonds…

It seems that more and more people have found this writing space of mine and I’m really curious about you all. Write a comment…a hello or something. On one hand, its nice to have an anonymous audience. Yet, on the other hand, I like meeting new people, connecting with old friends. Its always interesting.

This past Saturday, I went hiking with some friends. We went to this tell out side of Yokneam. A tell is a site where many cities were built and destroyed. It looks like a small hill. As we were walking up this small mountain, we found all sorts of amazing old pieces of pottery. That’s one of my favorite things about Israel. Human history is everywhere. There is this ancient feeling all around. Take out the politics and the strife, and this country is so incredibly beautiful. (Maybe that is part of its beauty…its bittersweet)

I am constantly touched by the beauty of nature here. The winter is ending and the spring has begun. Which means that my favorite tree is blooming. The almond tree – shkedia. Its so beautiful.

I thought it would be appropriate to celebrate this majestic tree with some information about its fruit, our dear friend, the almond.

First our grand source for all things – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Almond

Now, the nutrtional facts.

Did you know that almonds are a great source of vitamin E? One serving has 70% of the daily recommended allowance. Almonds are also a good source of potassium, magnesium, zinc, iron, fiber and monounsaturated fat. They also contain more calcium than any other nut, which makes them a great resource for vegetarians who don’t consume dairy products.

Now, on to the health benefits.

A handful of almonds a day can keep your heart healthy. Its lowers LDL cholesterol (or bad cholesterol) which helps reduce the risk of heart disease.

Eating almonds in moderation can contribute to weight loss. And they are a great source of protein with very little carbohydrates, making them ideal for diabetics, pre-diabetics or anyone with blood sugar issues.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, almonds are considered anti-inflammatory and anti-spasmodic and are used in tonic form. They are brain and bone food, because of their high calcium content. And they help with alkalizing the blood and moving stagnant chi from the liver.

In Ayurveda, almonds are used to strengthen ojas – our vigor/vitality, often equated with immunity. They are also said to nurture self-control and promote calmness.

I’ve also heard that eating 10 almonds when you have a headache can relieve the pain due to a chemical within the nut called salicin (an ingredient in over-the-counter pain medicine like aspirin).

One wonderful preparation that can be made from almonds is almond milk. Its delicious and a great, nutritional substitute for milk (so much better than soy milk!)

Here’s a recipe. http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Milk-an-Almond-fresh-homemade-almond-milk/

There we go. Have a beautiful day…

Time to move on..

Time to get going. What lies ahead I have no way of knowing.

Under my feet, baby, the grass is growing. Yeah, its time to move on.

Time to get going…

-Tom Petty

I went to the hospital yesterday and had a test done to understand the reason my PET CT came up positive.  (I think I mentioned it on an earlier post, but PET CT scans can have a positive result for severals reasons ranging from an infection to cancer). And the doctor decided a few different things. 1) The lymph node in question is too small to get any information out of…even if she would be able to get a needle inside of it, chances are, there wouldn’t be enough information for testing. 2) The dangers of reaching the lymph node are more dangerous than the possible positive outcome (i.e. getting cells to test for cancer) and 3) the fact that I have been sick recently means that its probably remnants of that and not more cancerous cells.

She recommended that I go see the doctor in 2 weeks and if the lymph node has grown, then we can do a biopsy to understand its nature.

All I have to say is PHEW. I know I’m not out of the woods, but I am pretty sure that the lymph node is normal and just doing its job.

Which means… (drum roll)

I CAN MOVE ON!

My apartment search has begun. If anyone knows of an amazing, beautiful, special place in Tel Aviv-Yafo…let me know.

May all beings be happy..

Puppy love

I haven’t written much in the past week. My usual writing time (early in the morning) is now very busy. I have a puppy who constantly wants my attention. Its quite difficult to form thoughts, type them, give a puppy attention, correct bad behavior and have the concentration necessary to create something coherent. So…that’s why my blog hasn’t been my number one priority.

Maybe Kali wasn’t the best name for my pup. I should have gone for something like Sunshine or Dopey. They say that certain names carry energy and can even shape a personality. And Kali is definitely…KALI. She’s fearless, powerful and quite stubborn. Oh, and did I mention she’s a bitch? These are probably characteristics of most puppies. I don’t really know. I just know that she is quite a handful. I say that with affection and love…but it is true.

We have been spending our days at my mom’s apartment. Its very puppy friendly. And Simon’s there for more entertainment. Its a shame that Simon is overwhelmed by Kali. She always wants to play and he either ignores her, growls or sniffs her bum. But there’s little playing…I hope he starts to warm up to her. For his sake and Kali’s.

You know when people become parents for the first time and all they talk about is their children? I feel like that, but with a dog.

I’m not a parent. But I sure feel responsible, which is good for me. It keeps things in perspective. I’m on a slippery slope, but waking up to Kali’s sleepy face in the morning is a continual source of joy. It makes me look forward to the day. That’s a blessing.

The simple life.

Here’s a great list of how to simplify your life.

http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/2010/01/43-simple-ways-to-simplify-your-life/

Good things to come.

So, I’m an official dog owner. Kali is my dog and I am responsible for her. I have to feed her and take her out for walks. I have to make sure she’s entertained. And I have to love her (not that its difficult…)

Here is another sweet picture of her (with Simon…the day they met) By the way…Simon is very confused by her. He really doesn’t know what to make of it. He growls a bit. But he mostly just ignores her. I’m sure he will warm up to her eventually.

And I have a sweet video of her sleeping/snoring. I wonder if her snoring is going to get louder as she gets older. If so, I may have a problem.

My pet history is an interesting one. Not including the dogs and birds I grew up with as a child, I have had a dog and a cat.

At the age of 23, I moved to Boulder with a boyfriend. I was pretty miserable from the beginning. He moved there to study. I moved there…well, I don’t really know why. To get out of Miami seems to be the most likely reason. About a month after we arrived, we went to a mall for some unknown reason. And we made the disastrous mistake of walking into a pet store that was full of puppies. I don’t know if stores like that still exist, but it was horrible. The sweetest little puppies, in cages, all drugged up. I was really upset. And without really thinking about it, we bought one. I wanted to save him from that terrible place. (I had a history of doing silly things like that. I once bought a hedgehog from a pet store for the same reason.)

I now know that buying pets from these stores only perpetuates the problem. You live, you learn.

So, that’s how Bodhi came into my life. (Its short for Bodhisattva.) He was a Cairn Terrier. This is what he looked like.

Very cute. Very sweet. We only had him for a week. The apartment building we lived in didn’t allow pets (even though the rent contract stated something different). I could have fight. I could have argued. But I didn’t. I wasn’t the assertive woman I am today. So…we said goodbye to our sweet Bodhi. It was really sad.

Then a year and a half later, I found a kitten. At this point, I had been living on Kibbutz Lotan for 6 months and I was planning on staying indefinitely. It was a cold winter’s day and I was sitting outside the dining hall with my dear friend Nicole. We heard soft, urgent meowing coming from the direction of the laundry room. We walked around the back and saw this bundle of fur underneath the laundry vent. (how smart! it was freezing, but he was warm.) And that’s how I met Ayuni. And here’s a picture of Ayuni.

Ayuni and I parted ways that summer. I thought I was going to the states for a short period of time, but it turned into almost 4 months. My boyfriend at that time offered his parents as babysitters. And they fell in the love with the little sucker. It wasn’t even an option for me to take him back when I returned to Israel.

I realized that the last two pets I’ve had were connected to boyfriends, so their memories always seem to be interwoven with those broken relationships.

Having Kali is a new step for me. There are no boyfriends involved. Its refreshing.

On that note, may you all have a beautiful weekend. With healthy relationships and happy puppies…

Thank God for Puppies…

Kali and I made it through our first night together. And she’s doing fine. In fact, she’s doing great. She has been eating, drinking, peeing, pooing. And PLAYING of course! She’s full of life…very curious and so happy to be cuddled. And because she’s happy. I’m happy.

Again, thank the Gods for puppies!

Patience.

That’s what I need right now.

I had my doctor’s appointment and, like promised, I went in with little expectation. I’m figuring at some point things are going to start looking up…its just going to take some time.

Apparently, my test results were inconclusive. That means that there was a shiny, reactive area in my PET scan. This could mean a variety things. At the moment, its a positive test result (not what you want when you have the big C). But, Dr. Dan (the dear man who have been helping me) told me that there’s a 90% chance that its a false positive. It supposedly is a common occurrence.

So, beyond that. I just have to wait. I will know if I have to do an ultrasound today. One day at a time. (Am I a cancer addict? Isn’t that what they say in AA and NA?)

On the bright side (the very very bright side), I made a promise that if my test results are anything but 100% clear, I was going to get a puppy the next day. And that’s EXACTLY what’s happening.

I’m going to be a mommy/pack leader. We went to see her yesterday and she’s coming home today.

Its always at these moments that the ambivalence sets in. Commitment, whether its to a human, animal or even a place can be anxiety-producing. I start questioning if its the right decision or whether I’m capable of caring for something. In this case, its a yes and a yes. AND I think it will be wonderful both for me and my new puppy. (Let’s not mention, Mom and Jonathan!)

I have a picture.

Here she is.

Her name is Kali. Say hello.

I feel blessed. I might say something different when I have to clean up dog poo.

The beginning of the rest of my life..

Today is a big day for me. Its the day I find out my next step. I am not anxious. Nor nervous. Just ready for an answer. My poor blog suffers from my confusion and inability to move on…(don’t worry, mr. blog. I will have something to share very soon.)

On a sweeter note, Jonathan is back. And he really enjoyed the vipassana retreat he attended. He’s all calm and happy. Its nice to see.

On that note, wish me luck! I hope the results are conclusive.

And as a treat, a picture from the Church of the Annunciation in Nazareth. Take a good look. There’s a man behind me who is very unhappy with my behavior. I got reprimanded after this picture was taken. Apparently, posing and smiling is just not “holy” enough. What can I say? I’m a blasphemer.

On that note, sending lots of love…I hope you all have a beautiful day…

Remember waterbeds?

My mom and I were chatting last night after dinner and she was telling me a story about being pregnant with Jonathan. She mentioned that she had a hard time getting out of bed because it was a waterbed.

Remember those? What a weird idea! Sleeping on water. I don’t know if its the smartest invention ever, but it was definitely creative.

It even made it to the Bad Fads Museum. http://www.badfads.com/pages/activities/waterbed.html

Ha! Now that’s an exciting bedroom set. Straight out of the 80’s.

I don’t remember whether I found my parents’ waterbed so comfortable. Maybe it was amazing. I imagine I would find it too soft. I like my beds a little harder. And it just seems to be more trouble than its worth.

Someone must be smiling down upon me…

It really feels that way.

Here’s why.

Yesterday, I was scheduled to do a PET CT scan to see if I’m in remission or not. And I wasn’t really looking forward to it. The last two times I’ve had it done, it was pretty traumatizing.

A typical PET CT experience.

Go to the front counter. Give information. Wait.

30 minutes later. Get called to a room and have your blood sugar tested and an needle inserted.

Go to a waiting room. Get injected with radioactive sugar substance and given 1 and a half liters of a barium drink to finish over an hour and a half.

Wait an hour and a half. Try not to move very much.

A technician comes it. Tells you to wait outside the PET scan room.

Go inside. Get on the table. Get strapped in.

Don’t move for 40 minutes.

Done.

Go outside and wait to make sure the results are viable.

Now, really done.

This is what the machine looks like.

And here is more info on the exam. http://www.radiologyinfo.org/en/info.cfm?PG=pet#part_one

The first time I did a PET scan, I was very ill. It was before I started chemo and I was still suffering from the “B” symptoms (fever, sweating, strange itching, exhaustion). I was also weak and fragile. I went into the room to get the needle inserted and it hurt terribly. I generally don’t like getting pricked, but that time it hurt much than usual. I started crying. I think more from the shock of it than the actual pain.  Then I had to drink the barium stuff. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t pleasant. The worst part was getting in the machine. I couldn’t relax and I was very hot and itchy. (Don’t forget, they STRAP you in.) So, it was not fun AT ALL.

The second time was less traumatic, but I still had the first experience in my head. The needle person still didn’t know what to do with my fragile veins (a by-product of chemo) and I had a nasty bruise for days. The actual procedure was easier to endure, because I actually fell asleep. Not bad.

Why was yesterday so special? Well, beforehand, I was obsessing about the needle insertion. How it was going to hurt, etc. It put me in a bad mood and I didn’t want to deal with it. My mom and I went up to the Hematology ward to see if I could get a blood test for my meeting on Monday with the doctor. (He had asked us to go to medical services to do it, but we decided to try to do it at the hospital.) The nurse who gave me the blood test (Her name is Alette.) happens to be my favorite. She is gentle and confident and even when it hurts, it hurts less because she’s there telling me stories about her childhood in Holland or her rebellious daughter. The best part was that we didn’t have to remove the needle. No unnecessary pain from incompetent technicians! That already put me in a better mood.

Next, the wait in the place took about 5 minutes and the woman behind the counter was really nice to us. I still got my blood sugar taken, but that was nothing. And they decided that I didn’t need to drink the barium stuff. (Yes!). All I had to do was relax. And the actual test was easy peasy. I fell asleep again.

In Hebrew, there is a phrase חוויה מתקנת (chavaya metakenet). It means a “fixed experience”. My time yesterday really cleared up the trauma from the first experience. It was broken and now its fixed. Love that.

And that’s it for today.

Love to my loyal listeners…and to anyone who happens upon this page.

Wishing you all health and happiness.