With the change from summer to fall, comes this familiar feeling of anticipation. For the last couple years, it revolved around my health. As a kid, the feeling came from starting school. I even fell in love a few times during this time of year.
At the moment, I’m waiting (patiently) for answers, so I can begin my treatment and move forward. Nothing is definite, but it seems as though my health insurance will be able to cover a substantial part of the SGN treatment. I say it tentatively, because it isn’t 100% yet, but I do believe that it will be resolved.
I also got a second opinion on my medical situation and course of treatment. In the past, I had been contemplating changing hematologists. My current doctor and I have some … differences in the way we view the world, humanity and my body. I know that there are doctors out there who are compassionate and considerate. But I don’t believe that’s my doctor. He’s very scientifically-minded. He likes the numbers and the studies. He seems to forget that I’m human and the way he refers to the illness and getting rid of it makes me feel like I’m a broken machine that needs fixing.
I thought that by getting a second opinion with a new doctor, I could possibly find that compassion I’m so craving in my friendly health care professional. And apparently, the man was very friendly (my mother spoke with him)… but he didn’t need to see me. We sent him all my papers, test results and what not and he said that we don’t have to come in, we can talk over the phone.
Um…
Huh…
Does that seem strange to anyone else? I’m not a doctor, but I imagine if I was, I would want to see all my patients, especially ones dealing with hardcore illnesses. Look in their eyes, talk to them, have some empathy for who they are and what they are going through.
So, I guess I didn’t find a new doctor. And even though I may follow his advice, it’s hard for me to take it seriously, because I feel like there’s no connection to the reality of my personhood, except through my exam results.
By the way, his advice was to begin the SGN treatment followed by a bone marrow transplant from a donor. As for what that means and the options in that category, I’ll leave that to another day.
On a happier note, I’m getting a desk today! I’m looking forward to having a workspace. My back has been hurting from my slouchy posture. That’s what happens when you write and draw and create while hunched over and sitting on a soft mattress.
Things are changing and I’m happy about that.
Here’s a picture from a hike I went on last week. It was taken in a grove of Eucalyptus trees. It was beautiful and so quiet. I love the nature in this country…
