Yesterday.

I woke up yesterday morning feeling sad. I cried and attempted to soothe myself in the the typical ways that seem to work for me. Usually, I write, draw or play music and I get the ick out.

Alas, yesterday was a bit different. I, not only had a chemo treatment, I was also going to hear the results from the latest PET scan. And that always makes me feel … sick, nauseated, nervous, sad, anxious.

At around 10am, I got a call from my oncology nurse. And she said the most lovely words a cancer patient can hear. “Your scan was clean.” CLEAN! HALLELUJAH!

However…

Chemo was still on my mind. In reality, it isn’t all that bad. It’s about a week of feeling like crap and then it’s over. Nonetheless, I was feeling anxious and my psychosomatic nausea was starting to rear its nasty head.

Hospital + smells + other people getting chemo + my natural tendency towards nausea = Healey not feeling fantastic.

By the time I met with my doctor, I was ready to go home. I asked, since my scan was clean, could we just skip the chemo this week?

Why, yes! Yes, we can!

No chemo! What?? Woo hoo!

There’s more to it than that. I am getting ready for an allogeneic stem cell transplant and because of my tendency to relapse relatively quickly, the less amount of disease I have in my body, the better. So, it depends on the donor. If the donor can be ready within the next month, then I forego anymore treatments, until the actual transplant. If the donor needs more time than that, then I will have another chemo treatment to tide me over until transplant.

The transplant is not an easy treatment. It’s going to be tough and I want as much time as possible to strengthen my body and my mind before I go into this battle. The transplant is also magical. A miracle of modern science. And I am lucky to have the option in front of me.

Thank goodness, I have such a strong support system. I say what I need and I am heard. It’s especially satisfying that I have this type of relationship with my doctor. It wasn’t always that way.

It’s been a terrible and tough year and I am so grateful for my family and my friends, who took care of me when I needed it, who held me when I was sad, who smiled when I could not and who reminded me how incredibly lucky I am. I would say, “There are no words for how I feel.” But, it is not true! I have tons of word to express.

I am off to enjoy this precious week. And unlike my dear friends in the Northeast, it is sunny and beautiful over here. The perfect time of year to be out in nature. I wish I could send you all some sunshine!

love and light and whatever makes you happy.

HealeyOr

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Mitchell Kaplan on February 11, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    Wonderful news, Healy! Good thoughts to you and thanks for your birthday wishes…

    Reply

  2. Posted by Milla on February 11, 2014 at 4:25 pm

    so great to hear this news Healey! Enjoy the sunshine ❤ love you

    Reply

  3. Posted by Maura on February 11, 2014 at 5:16 pm

    Woohooooo Yayyyyyyy!!!!! Awesome!!!doing a happy dance and sending mad love and hugs xoxoxo

    Reply

  4. So happy to hear the great news!

    Reply

  5. Posted by רות שקד on February 13, 2014 at 9:02 am

    הילי חמודה שולחים חיבוקים ונשיקות…
    מתרגשים לשמוע על הטיפול החדש ומקווים שתתחזקי במהרה
    מחכים לשמוע עדכונים נוספים!!!
    רות והדי והשקדים

    Reply

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